Turquoise Sidekick

welcome

Hi welcome!

dailies

Alex
Amanda
Amelyn
Aralin
Bern
Carina
Chin Teck
Chloe
Daryl
Debi
Ezra
Fee
Heather
Jeremy
Jolene
Juey
Keisha
Oliver
Rachel
Raquel
Ray
Sam
Sherilyn
Trina
Yy

goodbye ;

Does it pay to be kind? Seriously, i am trying to be kind. I don't think anyone appreciated that anyway. I never knew what it felt like to be alone and now i know. It somehow felt scary. Its like you're in a horror movie and anything can happen suddenly and scare you badly. It is like you're in a dark room too. Its not a good feeling. Who would want to be alone? I don't know about friends. I'm not even sure now if they exist. They don't seem to exist in my terrifying world. I seem to be alone in a maze, trying to find a way out to a bright and happy world. I doubt i can ever find a way out. No, i can't. I need friends. Real and true friends. I might be expecting too much. But i know i don't have any true friend at all. Yes, maybe there is. Only one, no more than that. I'm trying to be strong, not to give up as this isn't even half of my life. And now, i feel silly to think of dying when i was at the lowest point of my life. Maybe i shouldn't think too much. I'm lost, confused and frightened. I don't know what to do. I've changed, I know. I don't think i can change back to the used-to-be cheerful, innocent, caring and kind lydia. I can't. Everything makes me feel like crying. I don't know why or how but i don't want to feel this way. Who would?

I know what i should do. Thanks i think. I'll leave, don't worry. And no, i'm not blaming you.